No not really. I decided not to set any New Years resolutions this year. Especially how nothing went as planned last year so I’m going to go with the flow and try to better myself.
But the thing that’s changing is…. I’m going to start running. Not for weight loss but for my job. I spend my mornings (part time life yo) working with children on the autism spectrum disorder and that requires a lot of running .
I came to this conclusion after I couldn’t catch a 4 year old because I’m so out of shape and such a slow runner.
I’m sure you’re like “cool Hannah good for you hope all goes well why is this a blog post though?”
And the answer is because I’m scared.
I’ve always been a hefty gal. During my entire gym class career, I was an anxious mess. I was always aware of my body jiggling while everyone else was thin and lanky. Others were aware of my body jiggling too and would make fun of me. I was poked with sticks, teased relentlessly, some guy even hit me in the tummy with a volleyball as hard as he could because I was a big target and he wanted to prove to his friends he could do it.
Besides being harassed for being fat, I also have knee problems. My knee dislocated for the first time during my 8th grade volleyball game. Since then it’s been a lifetime of more problems with said knee. So I never really ran after that because I was afraid of it dislocating again. Then I finally had knee surgery and my workers comp wouldn’t let me continue with PT so I never fully regained the strength back.
I was also discouraged by my father (I love him dearly sometimes he’s just an egg so please be nice). He always told me I didn’t have the body to run and I had to be thin to run.
So as you can see I have a lot of troubles around running and I’m so anxious to start. But I need to. I want to be able to run around and catch my kiddos and be good at my job.
So… wish me luck.
In My Head 