Are you really depressed if you don’t reference Simon and Garfunkle?
In all seriousness, my depression came back seeking revenge for those few months I felt happy and alive.
I now feel that dark, empty void inside of me with the lingering question, “is any of this worth it?”
The little voice inside my head tells me constantly how worthless I am.
And my lack of friends and hatred from my coworkers is just reaffirming.
There’s still a tiny glimmer of hope somewhere deep inside the darkness. There’s a little Samwise telling me it’s going to be okay and it’s just the ring doing this to me.
And I so badly wish there was an outside force doing this to me. but this self-destructive thinking is coming from me, created by me, and is destroying me.
I should have known my happiness was too good to be true.
It lasted too long, it was too good, I felt too alive.
So I’m back to being a stagnant person. A person with one foot in the grave, forever straddling the line of being alive and dead.
Depression is purgatory.