darkness, my old friend.

Are you really depressed if you don’t reference Simon and Garfunkle?

depression-death-skeleton-drawings-haenuli-shin-thumb640 (1)

In all seriousness, my depression came back seeking revenge for those few months I felt happy and alive.

I now feel that dark, empty void inside of me with the lingering question, “is any of this worth it?”

Is it?

The little voice inside my head tells me constantly how worthless I am.

And my lack of friends and hatred from my coworkers is just reaffirming.

 

There’s still a tiny glimmer of hope somewhere deep inside the darkness. There’s a little Samwise telling me it’s going to be okay and it’s just the ring doing this to me.

And I so badly wish there was an outside force doing this to me. but this self-destructive thinking is coming from me, created by me, and is destroying me.

I should have known my happiness was too good to be true.

It lasted too long, it was too good, I felt too alive.

So I’m back to being a stagnant person. A person with one foot in the grave, forever straddling the line of being alive and dead.

Depression is purgatory.

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