I’ve always been large and I’ve always been bullied
I’ve been bullied specifically because others view me as unacceptable
the way clothes fit my body, the amount of space I take up is unacceptable
people would poke my protruding belly with sticks because it’s so hard to fathom that someone could have a belly that sticks out.
Everyone told me to ignore them and that I am more than a size.
But I’m not more than a size. I’m not more than a number. I’m constantly reminded that I am just a fat person.
I’m not a college graduate, an uber driver, a friend, a Coloradan.
I am just fat.
It’s hard when people stop thin girls with eating disorders while it’s encouraged with fat girls.
One year I lost about 50 pounds by hardly eating and burning at least 1200 calories at the gym everyday and all I got was praise on how good I looked.
And when I try to just eat healthy and exercise, nothing happens.
I’m constantly told I’m unhealthy, I’m going to die from strangers and family a like
so tell me how I am more than just a number when that is all I have ever been.
That’s how people see me, that’s how people describe me, that’s what rude strangers yell at me on the street.
And I’m supposed to not let that get to me. I’m supposed to be more than that.
But most of the time, I don’t feel like I am. Most of the time I’m just the fat body I live in.