Hello! I know I haven’t written anything in the past few months but to be completely honest I didn’t think I’d write once a month for a year to begin with so cheers to that! Also, I recently saw Hamilton (humble brag) so the title is indeed from Hamilton.
But I am newly 24. And all I have to say is, people really took the whole “no one likes you when you’re 23” thing a little too seriously. This past year has been trash and I really don’t know how else to describe it. But the best thing about hitting rock bottom, you can only go up.
So here I am. Trying to grow and improve and love and be loved the best I can.
In the past few months I have
- started a new job (in my field and actually doing something I want to do AND using my degree)
- Learned to be alone, take care of myself and be comfortable in the loneliness.
- Learned to cook (I can still only make three things but hey I’m trying)
- Stepped outside of my comfort zone and made plans with people I hardly know
- Hit one year with my boyfriend (heeey)
- Rekindled a relationship with my mother and learned to heal
- Went 6 whole months without bleaching my hair to try and learn to love my natural self (it didn’t work, I have a hair appointment in two weeks)
- Learned that modifications to make you feel better aren’t wrong or bad in any way.
So. Maybe this past year was a disaster. But god it was a needed disaster because I’m finally growing as a human being and what else could you ask for? I’ve been off of anti-depressants for a year and I feel more alive than I ever have. I try to take one day at a time and be grateful and thankful for everything, but it doesn’t always happen. So here’s to another year of growth, self-love, self-discovery, and hopefully I’ll be able to see Dear Evan Hansen next.
I hope this next year finds you well.